A demand.

I can't even begin to say how much God is speaking to me. He has been dissecting and dismantling my world. Over the past three months especially. Seriously—my journal pages are filled with battles in my soul, mind and heart. I made it my goal last year, before I left home, to come to the point of complete surrender and sensitivity to the voice and the leading of the Holy Spirit. My adamant prayer was that I would be able to completely let go of anything and everything that I was holding onto... die to my own dreams and desires so that I could be like a blank slate... waiting for God to write His will on me. Man... when you come to the point of honestly praying that prayer... God starts asking you to hand over things that you never wanted to or never realised you were holding so tightly. And it hurts... if it doesn't, then you know you're not there yet.

I'm scared to death of what God is requesting of me, but I have given it to Him... I cannot deny a demand from my Lord.

But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him - Philippians 3:7-9