S.A.T.U.R.D.A.Y.
is for

sleeping in
understanding
nuances
day dreaming
affection
yawns

*

.he who would change the future must disturb the present.

100 - 1/365

"If you live to be a hundred,
I want to live to be a hundred minus one day,
so I never have to live without you"

Winnie the Pooh

emptiness is not silent

the
only thing
that ever sat
its way to
success was a
hen.

be vulnerable.

love is not love until it is vulnerable.

*photo by megan kathleen mcisaac

thought = destiny

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits,

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

how long has it been
since someone touched
a part of you
other than your body
?

.


.fill my cup so that it may be emptied again.

for now we see
in a mirror dimly,
but then face to face.
now i know in part,
but then i shall know,
just as i am also known.

1cor13.12.

patpatpat

happiness is a fuzzy kitten—or so i've heard...

why were my eyes laden
when it was never about me?

somehow,

i had come

to think

that I had

a right to be

a part of it.

today is not yesterday.

so, why was today so hard?

{the best things in life aren't things}

coeur de pirate || comme des enfants

i have no idea what she's saying... but whatever it is,

it's like magic.

dn | up

.

write a note
to someone
you don't
know.

tie it to a balloon
and let it go.

i'll eat my cake.

"do you want a lover, or do you want a life?"

...can't i have both?

i think i can
.
.
.
thanks

$3

I would like to buy about three dollars worth of gospel, please. Not too much – just enough to make me happy, but not so much that I get addicted. I don’t want so much gospel that I learn to really hate covetousness and lust. I certainly don’t want so much that I start to love my enemies, cherish self-denial... I want ecstasy, not repentance; I want transcendence, not transformation... I would like enough gospel to make my family secure and my children well behaved, but not so much that I find my ambitions redirected or my giving too greatly enlarged. I would like about three dollars worth of the gospel, please.

- D.A. Carson

God, save my stupid, lazy heart.

time stopped... and started again.

Dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Last night, I caught your eyes for the first time in months. Nam non neque odio, quis commodo quam. Sed arcu sapien, tristique faucibus tincidunt sit amet, tempor at eros. Vestibulum egestas molestie lectus, sed aliquam nulla ullamcorper eu. Integer feugiat congue rhoncus. Sed ipsum dui, adipiscing sit amet elementum ac, faucibus a urna. Why were they blue? Integer venenatis vestibulum ornare. Duis non sapien dolor, quis tristique arcu. Ut elementum suscipit malesuada. Vestibulum purus neque, tristique nec congue at, vestibulum eget urna. Cras id tortor eu arcu aliquet sodales eget at massa. Aliquam eleifend lobortis mi, non feugiat tortor venenatis et. You told me stories like you used to, when we sat under those old stairs. Vestibulum elementum imperdiet leo sed elementum. Phasellus urna ipsum, faucibus eu ullamcorper quis, ultrices eu sem. Quisque eget convallis risus. Vestibulum mollis, felis ac eleifend feugiat, dolor urna adipiscing odio, ut iaculis est lacus vel lectus. Aliquam laoreet nunc quis metus fermentum blandit. Time was irrelevant. Maecenas lacus elit, congue eget accumsan sed, porta et nibh. Nullam sollicitudin mauris eu felis sollicitudin consequat. Then, it was my turn. In venenatis pulvinar turpis, sit amet fringilla magna consequat nec. Etiam ligula sem, lobortis eu lacinia in, ullamcorper at metus. Pellentesque ipsum purus, adipiscing ac mollis eget, elementum quis quam. I had no stories to tell. Vivamus non rhoncus augue. Quisque mollis, sapien eu laoreet ullamcorper, nisl nibh auctor lectus, et feugiat enim sapien eget nibh. Maecenas fringilla, leo a aliquam volutpat, enim ante cursus quam, eget aliquam justo nisl id ligula. Nulla facilisi. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Morbi ut velit quis ligula hendrerit tempus. Phasellus luctus justo et leo mattis sit amet ullamcorper turpis dictum. So, I said goodbye. Aliquam eleifend lobortis mi, non feugiat tortor venenatis et.

.6.2.36.

my color pallet went from six to
.t h i r t y s i x.

my suns are amber
my skies are sapphire
my sunsets are filled with seven hues,
rather than tinted with two.

it is marvelous.
how could I go back?

{ I am caught in the art of losing myself }

4:20

[.the kingdom
of God is not a
matter of talk
but of power.]

.

... just think about that one for a second...

.

yeah, that's right.

.

let it rock your lifestyle.

not because of me.

...thank you for blessing me in spite of me...

the man in my dream said...

"...often, God will take away the things we highly value
in order to ensure that we value Him most."

[.my alarm clock buzzed in my ear, waking me up to a sky with no sun.]

for a cloud of
earthly securities
had billowed
up and blotted
out the sun
.
.
.

Lord, may it never be,
that I would find my security
in anything that could be
consumed by the fire.
help me to build my life solely
on the promises of your love.

.

i've got my head in the clouds,
looking forward to a beautiful day
that will come without warning.

please let go

i already know that i screwed things up.
today, like everyday, the awareness is acute.

... but really... what else can i do?

nothing; no, i can do nothing.
i just have to stand here and watch your broken heart bleed.

...dare i ask again for your forgiveness?

i see shadows.

i have hope in this, only because i know that God is able to take my mess-ups, and turn them into something beautiful...

...however, i can't help but wonder, 'how will this produce anything other than stinging regret and excruciating heartache?'

[.i still believe in miracles.]

so, i wait and watch,
hoping that the sun will
one day break through this cloud
and show me the highlights
rather than the shadows.

yes.
i believe in miracles.

God... i will wait for you to move.
Lord... please move...

please.

it's snowing in my mind.

snow globes are pretty when they have been shaken up.

my life is a snow globe.

[. today, Love was born .]

what is vision?

it isn't something that is abstract or intangible...

gaining true vision is more like using a highway atlas; it means having a perfectly clear picture of an ultimate destination
and a detailed road map to get there.

[steven k. scott]

Blink of an eye

Just when you are ready to close your eyes,

life happens.

.

[. each action pulls me towards another beautiful dimension... .]

molecules of loss.

today, i watched the smoke and ash of
a million losses drift over the harbor.
today, i am reminded to store up treasure
that cannot be consumed by fire.

[.photo by george harrison.]

yes, i know it will.

if it weren't for you,
i might just drown.
as it is, do you think you
could give the lifeline a wee tug...
just to remind me that
everything will be okay?

romans 1.29-31

...being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness, full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness, they are whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful...

I look at this list and find that I am disgusted and appalled. What a base, wicked and horrific description of any existence.

Yet... this is exactly the description I would have if I would find for myself in the Bible... this is my description. I have no reason to hold my head above it. No, I have no standing above the owners of this description in any way.

This is who I am, yet God chose to save me.

my life's song.

I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die

To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tears
Of a world embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart

I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
"dull the nails that still remain"
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
"dull the nails that still remains"
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart

[. jars of clay | worlds apart .]

i like it like that.

rain, rain, rain
come down hard.
really hard.

forward motion.

I feel my grip loosen...
I feel my heart returning...

Now, i can return to forward motion.

.

peace.
it does not mean to be in a place
where there is no noise, trouble
or hard work. it means to be in
the midst of those things and still
be calm in your heart.

homesick.

Why, oh Lord do you continue to tarry?

I cannot even express the longing that my soul and heart feels. Every day, I
look at the clouds passing overhead, hoping... just hoping that they
might roll back and reveal your coming glory.

Not a day goes by that I not to feel pangs of homesickness—
homesickness for a home that I have never seen.

Even now, I wish I could close my eyes and only open them when
your face is before me.

Every tear I am shedding is counted by you... just know, they
are tears of longing for your face.

my soul longs, yes, even faints
for the courts of the Lord.
My heart and my flesh cry out
for the living God. ps84.2

...my citizenship is in heaven...
I eagerly wait.

just look for it.

life is a perpetual haphazardness.

hence, there is something to be discovered behind every ephemeral moment.

Her tears were as molten glass falling from her sun kissed face.

He calls to her with the quiet whisperings of His love;

like the rising, opal moon...
like the evergreen sapling...
like the amber sunlight at the breaking of a new day
is My love for you— it will always be.

Daddy, sing me to sleep.

1321

hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.

a thick atmosphere.

do you ever go into a room and get the strong and overwhelming sense that you are not alone? You enter a room and can't help but glance over your shoulder and into the corners of the room to ensure yourself that your subconscious mind is not picking up a presence that you should acknowledge...

.your complaint is your vision.

appreciate common grace.

What is common grace? Is it simply limited to the deep hues of a summer sunset, a breath of fresh air or the lullaby of waves crashing monotonously upon crystal shores? I don't think so.

Every good and perfect thing is from God above.

Subsequent to the fall, our world was pervaded by the fallen nature; we stand stripped of, and inherently devoid of all

holiness
purity
beauty
righteousness
and goodness.

We have not the capacity to perform any good or holy thing.

When I look at our fallen race, I see remnants and reflections of God's creativity is every facet of humanity. How can one, who is not regenerate, paint a canvas with such emotion and beauty that it moves people to tears in the middle of a gallery? Where does that beauty come from?

Certainly not from the sin nature. So, what is the source?

I am lead to believe that the abilities and talents seen in the secular and pagan world are evidences and examples of the common grace of God. He cares so much for His human race, both saved and unsaved, that He has sprinkled all of mankind with His beautiful grace.

So often the church removes itself from all aspects of secular art... whether it be in the culinary, literary, musical or visual, there is so often an absence of appreciation for the secular creativity in any form.

We fail to recognise if for what it is; evidences of God's grace.

It is my desire to see the church rising up, meeting and appreciating the secular art, rather than removing itself as if it were something to be disdained. All aptitude and genius in the secular is evidence of God's grace sprinkled across humanity.

evident flaws.

The church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints.

worlds apart.

Love—the most liberating freedom-loss of all.

Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable; impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation.

[. clive lewis .]

a love that will never let me go

.take your fingertips and trace the rainbows in the rain

.feel their tonic edges

.remember

.clear your mind and take in their archaic scent

.remember

G o d i s f a i t h f u l t o H i s p r o m i s e s

make a crane

I am looking for golden sun-rays and shooting stars.

I need peace of mind and a rainstorm-lullaby.

I think I need to make a paper crane and let him
fly away on these wild and untamed winds.

rough road

help me to take joy and find peace in walking Your path.

because, right now... it doesn't feel so great.

...actually, it hurts

a lot.

my feet are sore.

my heart is sore.

to be used

i want to become empty inside—i want to become a blank page before the Lord.

i want to be whole—with a purified mind and a clean heart.

i want to lay it all down before the king—all of it—all my pride, all my hopes, all my fears, all my selfish desires.

God, this is my desire—nothing more than to be lost only to You and Your will; i want to be used by You.

i give my hands to You. i ask You to open my eyes. i ask You to touch my ears. i ask You to light my intellect.

direct my steps. I am Yours.

as it is.

[. my soul is willing, but my flesh is weak .]


G o d— m a k e m e s t r o n g

unsung verse.

O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.

[.come thou fount | robert robinson.]

not in vain

He is for those betrayed by love and deserted by joy... for those enshrouded by darkness and stricken by pain... for those imprisoned by hopelessness and cast deep into despair... for those robbed of dignity and worth.... for those crushed and broken and forgotten...

so that they too might sing and soar... and know that they have not lived and suffered in vain...

But that they may know that there is beautiful purpose and joy in the midst of the dismal destitution of the soul and mind.

Jesus...

take my dreams and give them wings...

I am a magnificent ruin.

Thank you God, for the way you have dismantled my world.

... don't stop until Your work is
finished—no matter how hard I scream and cry.

Holiness and self-abandonment is what I ask for.

alps.

I sat on the hill and watched the peaks and valleys. The view was the definition of grandeur. I was awed. Every crevasse and peak was crystal clear in my vision—nothing was hidden by clouds, fog or mist. I hadn't been sitting for more than 10 minutes before a heavy fog began to roll in—it enveloped every tree and every stone... what was once perfectly clear only minutes before had now been completely hidden in the fog... and you know what? Everything was still just as breathtaking; I was still in awe. The majesty and grandeur had not been lost in the fog... no... I was, strangely, still filled with awe by just knowing that these stunning crags were still there... simply invisible and unseen.

I think the feeling and experience is similar to that of walking with God. When you can feel and sense Him, or when you see Him work, you are captured in wonder... yet, even when He has withdrawn the sense and feeling of His presence, I am still brought to my knees in humble adoration of His glory and majesty—because, even through He may be hidden in the fog, He is still out there... more real, concrete and Holy than I will ever understand in my life.

Yes, this is the God I serve.

silent choir.

Yes...

I do believe that if humanity were to withhold from praising God

these silent, snow-laden crags

would life up their rustic voices in adoration of our Lord and God.

paths cross.

It is a very free feeling to be traveling—seeing the world... by myself. It is beautiful, peaceful, solitary and accelerating all at the same time. I love walking along, then randomly and suddenly find my world has collided with that of another pleasant soul—we share and interact for a day or so, sharing stories, dreams, hopes, fears and laughs before we move forward in our own solitary trajectory.

I wonder, will I recognize these faces when I reach Heaven? Will we sit beside a river of crystal and recount the details of our lives that took place after we parted ways? The thought intrigues me.

A demand.

I can't even begin to say how much God is speaking to me. He has been dissecting and dismantling my world. Over the past three months especially. Seriously—my journal pages are filled with battles in my soul, mind and heart. I made it my goal last year, before I left home, to come to the point of complete surrender and sensitivity to the voice and the leading of the Holy Spirit. My adamant prayer was that I would be able to completely let go of anything and everything that I was holding onto... die to my own dreams and desires so that I could be like a blank slate... waiting for God to write His will on me. Man... when you come to the point of honestly praying that prayer... God starts asking you to hand over things that you never wanted to or never realised you were holding so tightly. And it hurts... if it doesn't, then you know you're not there yet.

I'm scared to death of what God is requesting of me, but I have given it to Him... I cannot deny a demand from my Lord.

But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him - Philippians 3:7-9

it's worth it.

I keep half-expecting my head to drop and jolt me awake — removing me from the haze of emotions and unformed thoughts. But no, I glance out my window to see the breaking of a new day—I am already awake. The haze is a reality I will not wake from.

I look down at my hands resting in my lap and see that they are not empty... in my right hand, my fingers are tightly wrapped around my precious crystal memories. I glance at my left hand and see something that I've seen time and time again. Why does it always work that way? In the palm of my left hand, I try to hold onto a piece of me that lingers for a moment before quickly disappearing to form yet another little hole in my heart.

I find myself asking the question: is it worth it? Is it worth it to open yourself to enjoy deep fellowship, when in the end, the product simply slips through your fingers to be carried away on the wind like sand on a beach?

Pain is a high price to pay for love...

...but I think, in the end, it is worth every pang.

dismantle my world.

I fall helplessly to my knees
Imploring you to penetrate my pride;
Pleading with you to reveal my rebellion;
Begging you to unveil my fear.
Dismantle my world.

Take the fragments that remain,
Sanctify and consecrate them;
Rid my soul of the shameful disgraces
that haunt my mind like shackles.
Purge my world.

Gather this broken soul in your arms,
Holding the shards in the palm of your hand.
But only when your work is concluded,
And not until I am reduced and stripped.
Rebuild my world.

[. andie haugen | ajaelh .]

my soul longs

My soul is moved to tears for her,
Her cheeks show the stains of tears
And her eyes sparkle with a dream;
That dream is hope.

I close my eyes to I fly to her,
I awake to find my arms empty.
She still weeps and I still long;
Long to dry her glassy eyes.

My heart bleeds for her...
For she is Africa.

Empty me

Holy fire, burn away anything that is not of you,
And is of me, Oh I want more of you
And less of me

Holy fire, burn away my desire for anything
That is not of you, and is of me
Oh, I want more of you, and less of me

Empty me.
Fill, won’t you fill me with you

Holy fire, burn away my desire for anything
That is not of you, and is of me
Oh I want more of you, and less of me

Empty me. Empty me.
And fill, won’t you fill me with you
Please empty me now.
I want more of you Jesus.

[.jeremy.camp | empty.me.]

unique

Sometimes you have to look away from what's popular to see and understand the unique.

Try it sometime; it's remarkable.

Leaving

My body faces forward with my eyes cast over my shoulders. My smile fades. Tis the time for change, and I turn to see life freeze for just a moment. I take my frozen picture and stick it in my pocket. There is no tomorrow like today. I face forward, staring into the darkness... wondering what lies ahead... wondering, will my picture will ever be reality again?

God's lullaby

[. there is nothing more soothing than to fall asleep to the lullaby of a million raindrops falling just outside your window .]

lost

I stand here at the point of tears. I look at you and thoughts of laughter and ambition spin through my mind; oh what have the years done to that? What painful memories have twisted together to form your present existence of ambiguity? Where is the lighthearted smile I once knew? I look, but only glimps obscure remmants hidden in the corners of your eyes.

Father, grip this wounded soul. Bring him back to you...

Another Face

Woefully gazing,
She invented a new face.
One of beauty and grace
Without a freckle or a childish feature.
Her hair is twisted and tied,
She has not more time for dolls,
She tosses her youth away,
Yearning for what is to come.
The candle light makes shadows dance
around her room,
A room that still belongs to the girl.
The shadows dance,
The flame flickers.
She gazes,
The face fades.
She is again
The freckled childish face.

[.ajaelh.]

where is your heart?

go.

Not everyone will hear the same call. Yours may be unique. It may be something you never dreamed of doing. It may be something you have only dreamed of doing... whatever He asks you to do, drop everything and respond.

He is always worth it.

Cale's poem

As I wondered down a crooked path,

that took me to a place unseen,

I saw the fury in eagle's wrath

unleashed upon a wolverine.

The battle carried on all night

with fearless beast his deadly bite

the eagle had the bravest soul

that lost effect as death took tole

you could see the passion in the eagle's heart

as he made his eternal depart.

Ye, the glorious bird gave his life for me

as Jesus did on Calvary.

I, a sinner born into this place

will live my life till I see his face

through the gateway of heaven

carved with marvelous grace...

My heart can't keep a steady pace

[. by cale .]

Just ask.

Oh what peace and strength we often forfeit

simply because we do not pray...

in the silence

none but glory

whoever desires to come after me, let him

deny himself,

take up his cross,

and follow me.

Lord, is there anything that is keeping me from throwing myself fully to your calling? Comfort? Love? Lifestyle?

Take it.

I want to deny myself all but your brilliant glory.
I want to shoulder my cross to follow you.

Help me....

Lost in an instant

I melt with the expectant look you give; your heart dismantled before my eyes.
What am I to do? I sit here as you hold your head in your hands.

I wait.

The moon brings disturbed sleep. With the sun comes unsettling circumstances.
What will you do? Days gone by swirl through your mind.

You fear to move.

You have done the unthinkable and come to me. Lay bare what others hide.
What am I to do? You ask for what I don't understand.

I reach out my hand to pluck the moment.

God use my inadequacies.

2.21.07 - 6:28pm

Tonight, I am twenty-four hours
closer to eternity.

It came... with tears.

Not unto me.

Just when I think I have something to offer... the Lord shows me that I don't.

Not without Him.

Father, may you get the glory for what you do through me.

"Not unto us, O Lord, not unto us, but to Your name be the glory..."

Write my life, Lord...

A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.

I want my life to be a love letter. A love letter to you, my Father.

But Lord...

my hand is weak. oh so weak.
I am unable to write a single word.

Help me.

Feel Yourself Gasp

When was the last time you opened your eyes and were amazed by Jesus?

Pray. Now.

A disturbance in the night brought me wide awake... or maybe it was a dream of you. Was I with you again? Had you come to me? Your name, just your name, filled my confused mind. Was it a dream? I have not seen nor heard from you in so long... Reflections of you had not danced through my mind for months. Here you were, suddenly consuming. Why?

Pray.

Restoration

Can you envision it? How sweet it will be on the day that the victory of Christ will be manifested on Earth. On that glorious day the curse will be lifted from God's people, culture, earth and universe... there will be sweet restoration. All will be as it was intended. One day, you and I shall see God's handiwork as He intended it to be. Beautiful.

My heart throbs and swells with joy at the thought.

I can hardly sit still.

It Required Much

Often we don't realize the power behind the small sins we play around with; they are the very thing that crushed the heel of the Almighty.

No matter how 'small' the sin, it required the death of Christ.

You hold my hand and I walk on air. I hope I don't trip on the stars...

Please, Lord

Oh, Lord that lends me life, please lend me a heart replete with thankfulness...

CO Pictures - 2006

And so our week began...

If only it would have stayed flat...

...No such luck.

Aww... oh, and no, that's not sweat... I got squirted with water.









Taken by the world's worst photographer... I don't know many people who can actually manage to cut off both the heads and feet of the subject in one picture...

Check out the elevation =D

Guess which one of us got to draft the whole day =P

Down with the Sag Wagon!

At the finish line

- Andie Haugen

Just as it should be...

Too Much Fun...

Help Me Serve

Father, God, I am here before your throne to ask that I might not be a burden...

Mighty One, please give me strength--both emotional and physical--to persevere through the week. Abba, please give me eyes that I might see where help is needed. Lord, please give me a heart that is ready to do it. God of Jacob, please give me feet that are swift to move. Give me hands that are longing to serve. Oh, please, Father give me a mouth that moves quickly to give encouragement where it is needed...

Loving Savior, you are the only supplier of these strengths and nothing I do is able... I always fall short... Help me to accomplish your will, with you as my strong tower.

Rejoice

Happy Birthday, Kelly... The angels and all of Heaven rejoice because of you.

Rejoice because what was once lost, has now been found.

A Prayer

I am afraid for this coming generation. Where is the one who is not driven and tossed by the winds and waves of this fallen world? Where, oh, where is the one who's steps are shepherded by the skillfulness of the Father's tender hands? So rare are they that I fear for my generation.

Oh God, Abba, Father, shepherd this fading generation, grow us according to the integrity of Your heart; instruct us with the skillfulness of Your hands. Oh God, let us be a generation that seeks Your face, and only Your face. Let us not give heed to the petty longings of this misleading world, but by Your grace, let us remain steadfast; standing firm on your promises.

Pause

O Sacred Head, Now Wounded

O sacred Head, now wounded,
With grief and shame weighed down,
Now scornfully surrounded
With thorns, Thine only crown;
O sacred Head, what glory
What bliss ’til now was Thine
Yet though despised and gory
I joy to call Thee mine

What Thou, my Lord, hast suffered,
Was all for sinners’ gain;
Mine, mine was the transgression,
But Thine the deadly pain.
Lo, here I fall, my Savior!
’Tis I deserve Thy place;
Look on me with Thy favor,
Vouchsafe me to Thy grace.

The joy can never be spoken,
Above all joys beside,
When in Thy body broken
I thus with safety hide.
My Lord of Life, desiring
Thy glory now to see,
Beside Thy cross expiring,
I’d breathe my soul to Thee.

What language shall I borrow
To praise Thee, heavenly friend,
For this my dying sorrow,
Thy pity without end?
Lord make me Thine forever,
Nor let me faithless prove
Oh let me never, never
Abuse such dying love

Forbid that I should leave Thee
O Jesus leave not me!
By faith I would receive Thee
Thy blood can make me free
When strength and comfort languish
And I must hence depart
Release me then from anguish
By Thine own wounded heart

Be near when I am dying
Oh show Thy cross to me
And for my succor flying
Come Lord and set me free
These eyes new faith receiving
From Jesus shall not move
For he who dies believing
Dies safely, through Thy love

Bernard of Clairvaux
(1091-1153)

December.26.2005

I have come to the end of another year of my life. It is so amazing to look back over these 12 months of 2005 and see the amazing grace and mercy that is poured abundantly out over this life.

Oh, how my soul twists and turns within me when I think of the incomprehendable sacrifice that was made so that I, and ungrateful, unfaithful, ever failing, miniscule human girl could approach such a holy deity. I am incapable of coming to grips with... Oh, I cannot even begin to write words that come close to giving this... act... and adequate explanation or description. All I can think of is an earthly word, with a divine, never fully comprehended definition. Love. That is it.

Love
It is an undying, ever giving, continually deepening, willingly sacrificing kink of unearthly love. It is the kind you only experience from such a perfect divinity as belongs only to the God of three. It is a love that I have experienced.

Martin Luther Quote

"I study my Bible as I gather apples-- first, I shake the whole tree, that the ripest fall. Then, I shake each limb, and when I have shaken each limb, I shake each branch and every twig. Then I look under each leaf."